Nights with Onii-chan
by furrballnerd
Summary: Kirito/Kazuto survived SAO. But things ended differently. He can't get over his past which is haunting him, causing him PTSD nightmares and freakouts. Noone is there to help him but his sister, Sugu. She helps him through it as much as she can, tightening their relationship. Eventually, things start to change as confusing feelings emerge along with his struggling. Short chapters
1. Screaming

**So, I have been kind of stuck on my other stories. For that I apologize. To try to make up for it, I have had this in the making for a while, something between me and my close friend, SaintInfernalNeos. What started as something between just him and myself, I wanted to share with everyone. I hope you enjoy**

"Mgemrglm." A sound came from the other room.

_...Uwah..?_

"Amdolmvalkmrllkbm" the sound continued.

_Wa...What time..._ I peeked an eye open, barely conscious.

3:54 AM glared back at me. I rolled over, exhausted and annoyed. W_hat now? It's so early... Why can't I just…_

"Ajaeanban!" It came louder, cutting off my thoughts

_Oh no…_

"ABAM...STOP! I ATBKOK I I NO!" The incoherent mumblings became outcries as the wall's muffling became pointless, terrorized screaming piercing my eardrum.

_Not again... please..._

"NO! NOT...I ... STOP! PLEASE!" the voice rang out through the wall, shutting down my hopes.

Worry took over my exhaustion as I tore the blanket off my body and ran out of the room. The shouts came from across the hall I found, as I ripped open my door._ He can't be... please.._

"I DIDNT... I... SORRY! FORGIVE ..."

Unsure of what was going to happen: I opened his door and stepped inside.

Inside, my onii-chan was trapped inside his mind, sweat visibly drenching his body in the moonlight, as he screamed in rage and begging to a world only he could see.

I rushed to the side of his bed. He tightened his white knuckled grip strangling the sheets as he stretched his neck backwards, as if avoiding something dangerous. He thrashed left and right trying to free himself from whatever tormented him. Stunned for a moment, I flashed back to the memory of him, trapped in the hospital bed, fighting a videogame he paid put his life on the line... That was 24 hours ago. He finally woke up. After 2 years of shedding tears and praying for the impossible, I finally saw my onii-chan open his eyes to the world. I saw his tired smile as he patted my head.

Quickly I grabbed his shoulder and shook him. "Wake up Onii-chan! Wake up!" I yelled in his face.

His body seemed to resist my urges for him to become conscious but eventually his eyes snapped open and he quickly sat up. Shoving his back against the wall, he scooted away from me… the danger. His right arm went up to his shoulder and grabbed at the air frantically behind his head. "No... stop... I can... I..." his voice died down as he began to realize his surroundings.

_Oh god... Onii-chan..._

"They were... I..." he looked at me incredulously. Finally he slumped forward, voice caught in an endless stream of sobs and broken sentences. "I couldn't...AH...I ...They just... I wanted to..." eventually his voice stopped trying to put up a fight and he pulled his knees up and wept into them pitifully, his entire body shaking

At a loss for words, I slowly crept towards him, kneeling on the bed. Feeling the weight shift beside him, he looked up at me and stuck an arm out

"No... Sugu... I don't want you to see me like this... like... just..." he broke off again his eyes blinking away tears as he turned his gaze to anything but my face. "Just... pathetic," he finished with a breath.

Getting close enough to him, I pulled at his weak body, his bony arms putting up little fight. Stroking the back of his hair, I pulled his face into my bosom for him to cry into. "It's okay... I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. I love you...Onii-chan."

His hands remained in his lap momentarily until he wrapped them around me hard, finally accepting my help, wailing louder than before into my chest, muffled by my shirt.

Minutes passed as my shirt became tear-stained and soaked, but I didn't mind. My arms became numb from constantly stroking his hair and rubbing his back, but I didn't mind. I shuddered from the chill of being wet in the cool air, but I didn't mind. My back ached from sitting up in that position as well as holding up his weight for so long, but I didn't mind that either. As long as he was okay, I was okay.

Gradually, his voice died down and his arms went weak as he calmed down. I laid him down softly, only to be urged to lie with him, his arms still wrapped around me as he pulled me to him for comfort. Smiling lightly, I laid with him, our foreheads touching. Over his shoulder, 4:36 showed on the table. But I didn't care, as long as he was alright.

**Okay, so things are a bit confusing right now. BUT, much of it will be explained in future chapters. For now, I will allow you to be tantalized**

**also, these are short chapters. shorter than you're used to but I have a bunch already complete so there will be less waiting. just a different style and pace. Please let me know what you think, either message or review**


	2. The Sounds

**As I stated last chapter, these chapters will be very very short. But, they will be updated much more frequently simply because I already have most of them done. Sorry if the length bothers you but this is a different style I'm doing for this story.**

**Also, thanks to DrKerbin for his help as well, both in this chapter and the last one**

**Enjoy**

I woke up again, always in the night, always to... the sounds. Those Sounds. I didn't have to be fully awake to realize he was in trouble. I simply knew. My body would wake me up preemptively, preparing me, knowing they were coming. This only started two days ago, but I knew things like this could be going on for a while.

"No..." came across the hall, not loud or agonizing, but I heard it. _I should get over there before he wakes our... my… parents._

Almost dead, I staggered out my room and into his, dropping my blanket in a trail behind me on the floor. Getting close, I saw him in the state of discomfort, his face unpleasant. He wasn't yet in sweaty, screaming, panic mode, but I knew he would turn that way before too long. Slowly I climbed into the bed and went face to face with him, his pain pulsing out with each wave of groans. "Onii-chan," I slowly started, my own voice dragging from my exhaustion. I pulled my hand up to his cheek and stroked it down to his neck and his shoulder, shaking the latter slowly. "C'mon Onii-chan. Wake up..."

"No...I...Sach..."

I shook harder, repeating my words. His eyes fluttered slowly, darkness meeting me up close. "Su..."

"It's okay Onii-chan. I'm here for you." I pulled my palm back to his face and cupped his cheek again, trying to reassure him as beads of sweat began to cling to my hand. "I'm here..."

"Su...gu" he let out tiredly, already calmed down._ Good. He's calming down faster than usual._

"Shhh...Go to sleep" I cooed, resting my forehead against his, becoming more accustomed to this sleeping arrangement, it more natural than being alone in my own bed, though I had been doing that all my life.

His breathing slowed after a few minutes and I felt his body's stiffness break, shoulders loosening, chest relaxing, his tense legs bending and curling with mine. Gradually, he turned soft to the touch, free from stress of the nightmares. Arching my neck a bit, I pressed my lips to his forehead, then back down to our original pose. "I love you... Onii-chan..."

I drifted off.

"You… too..." came to my unconscious ears.


	3. Accident

He had episodes. Some nights his sleep was simply uncomfortable and pitiful. Some nights were loud and screaming. But some nights...

"No..." came the voice next to me. Instinctively I stroked the side of his face, trying to soothe him in his sleeping form. "...No...Sa..chi.."

I didn't know who Sachi was, but she was one of the names that he called out in his throes of terror.

"Onii-chan. It's okay. It's okay." I cooed into his ear as I continued to stroke him, pulling my blanket up to my chin. A week or so before, I had stopped bothering with going to my bed, knowing how my night would end and where I would be turn up before the night was over.

"..." He became silent. His face was still tight and contorted while his arms remained strained and droplets of sweat began to form.

"...Nii-..chan?" I questioned. T_his isn't normal. His body usually calms down when he stops screaming._ I watched slowly, inching my face closer to his pained one.

As if a bomb was set off, he suddenly broke out into seizure like thrashing. "NO! I! ...Dead!"

Distressed for him, I began to shake him. "Onii-chan! Wake up! You're safe! You're-"

"STOPPPP!" his hand thrust out and his fist connected to the side of my face.

The room became dark for one of my eyes as pain stabbed into me. Pulling backwards I fell off the bed and landed on my back with a *thunk*

My left leg stretched unnaturally as it stayed caught in the blanket on the bed.

From the bed I heard silence, only broken by deep panting. "Su…su...gu."

I let out a groan in pain as my eye went from seeing stars to a dull numbing throb.

The bed shifted and suddenly Kazuto's face appeared. "Sugu! Are you okay? Why are you on the..." his voice cut out suddenly as he stared at my face in shocked horror.

Wrestling my leg free, I sat up and scooted an inch or two from him, keeping my head to the floor. _He didn't mean it. It was an accident. He didn't mean it... _Even from my view I could tell the difference, my eyesight impaired on the one side, a noticeable bump forming and obstructing my vision. Quiet tears dropped down my face as I tried to get the words out. "I.. *sniff* okay. I'm okay *sniff*"

Scampering off the bed, he softly but forcefully held my chin and pulled it up to eye level. "Let me see," he breathed as he did it.

Resisting, I turned my head to the side, giving him a full view but making sure to not look at him.

"Sugu... I... I'm so sorry…" He began to break down again, once again blaming himself. I say once again because of all the things he cried out in his sleep, 'sorry' was the most common.

"I'm... going to get an icepack."

I slowly got up and walked downstairs, grabbing a bag of chilled gel from the freezer and pressing it to my face, only after wincing and learning to do it more slowly the second time. Back upstairs, I checked my face in the bathroom mirror. A clear bump protruded from the side of my eye unnaturally and discolored. I knew that only icing it would help reduce the swelling and prevent permanent damage.

_This ss going to be hard to explain to okasan in the morning._ I sighed and walked to Kazuto's room.

About to open it, my foot kicked something soft in front of the door. I reached down and retrieved what ended up being my blanket. Pulling at the handle, I found his door locked from the inside.

"Onii-chan..." I whispered, quiet sobs and sniffling clearly audible through the drywall.


	4. Affrontation

The next few nights were lonely. He locked his door every time and made sure I didn't slip in beforehand. I couldn't even sleep on my pillow regularly anymore, needing it to my side, pressing my head to it and one arm draped over lazily. Every morning I awoke with my face shoved into the soft fabric, curious as to where Kazuto went. Then I would remember the night before, every night this week, his excruciating screaming from a locked room that I couldn't enter. Somehow our...my… mother never woke. _Probably because their room was downstairs._

I couldn't take it anymore, feeling so useless to someone in such pain. "Kazuto!" I almost shouted as I whipped my door open, having staked out when he was planning to retire. I cleared my throat. "Kazuto," I said lighter. He jumped at my sudden presence, hand on his knob, back facing me.

"Y...Yes, Sugu?" he asked quietly, unsure of my intentions. For all he knew, I was going to deck him after what happened last week.

"Please look at me..." I began my very planned speech. I noticed him avoiding my gaze ever since the incident and I knew that he wanted to hide from his shame, not remember what he did.

"...Yes, Sugu?" His voice was weaker as his body turned. His eyes flitted around my body, before finally landing on my face. If I didn't know better I'd say he was checking me out, but I did.

"I understand how hard it must be, surviving something so cruel," I continued my spiel, "and I also know that you don't want to burden us...me, with something that troubling. But..." my eyes had already welled up, my voice becoming undone as my carefully thought out words were haphazardly thrust out. "I can't take it anymore Kazuto. You need to talk to someone... I need you to talk to someone... I need..." I sobbed mid-sentence. "Please, just talk to me!" I almost screamed at him, his gaze breaking as he cringed from my verbal attack. "I can't take knowing *sniff* how much p-p-pain you're in. It hurts me to see you suffer..." My voice dropped to a whisper, "I love you... Onii-chan."

He stood there silently, staring at the wall to my left as I tried to dry my ever moistening eyes.

The silence lingered and I was about to yell for him to say something when he finally did, "I'm sorry... Sugu. I didn't know I was causing you so much trouble..." He paused... seeming to ponder something important. "Are...you sure you want to know..? I..." his voice cut out as he shook from his own memories.

"Yes." I replied simply.

Not moving, he stood there looking at the same spot. Eventually, he nodded to the wall, took my hand, and led me into his room.


	5. Guilt

**So I'm glad most of you enjoy this story so far. I personally enjoy it, being an idea of a savior turned love.**

"Okay," he started, sitting me down on the bed while he sat on his computer chair, leaning over elbows on his knees, staring at the floor.

Taking a deep breath, Kazuto seemed to steady himself, looking for the words to express what had happened. What he said next, I could have never prepared for.

"Sugu," his neck swiveled, his head turning up and eyes boring into mine. "I directly killed 8 people, and indirectly... probably more than I can count."

A memory of the tv newscast flashed into my head. R_eports from the company as well as the warning from the creator, Kayaba himself, showed the true gravity of this 'game.' If we try to remove them their brains will be destroyed. Similarly, if they lose the game and die, the machine will kill them._

"You killed..." I stopped, voice going nowhere.

"Yes." he looked down again, head drooping. "I was in a guild, a close group of five people, and couldn't protect them. I lied to them about how strong I was and they all died." His voice paused as his memories took a toll on his demeanor. A deep breath later, he continued. "Another I killed because... I simply wouldn't let someone else do it. It had to be me. I'd never have forgiven myself if they did it." His eyes averted my gaze at that one, probably due to the specifics of his thoughts. "And once, in a raid against other players, I killed two with my own blade, and others perished from the rest of the group." He took a moment to let that sink in.

"And... the indirect ones..." I asked afraid.

His breathing wavered and I knew he was choking up. "Countless times, I just… wasn't good enough. In the raid I was scared to act and because of me it cost lives... I wasn't fast enough in many boss fights... One person I should have shoved an elixir of life down his throat but I couldn't do it... I don't even know about all the times I've run into people across the field, tried to help, and end up turning around to find myself alone..." Tear drops were visibly falling to the floor now... "I almost had friends... They always seemed to be hiding something from me though. One stopped trying to be close to me after we almost died together. Another got her pet back and didn't talk to me as much... One guy stuck with his guild and friends because that's what he knew, while I was too much of a loose cannon." His voice stuck, forcing out the next few words. "And… her," He stopped, momentarily lost in his mind. "She probably couldn't stand the sight of me... not after all she knew I did."

He stopped talking. I assumed he was done as I wiped tears from my eyes. I opened my mouth only for him to cut me off unknowingly, adding more to the tale of woe.

"I'm losing it Sugu... The memories don't stop... the knowledge that so many people probably hate me. The looks in their eyes… as their trust in me was shattered. I know they blamed me for what happened... I know it. I know it, I know it." His voice was becoming ragged as he repeated this mantra.

I reached a moist hand out to his, only to have him pop his head up suddenly and almost yell at me. "I don't want to be here anymore! I just want it to stop!"

It was then, I saw, the lost look in his eyes, the sheer torture of past memories, The unkempt way his appearance was, the same long sleeve shirt and pants he wore for over a week now... The way he clutched his wrist

"Kazuto..." I began. "Are you... Do you want...? Have you..." I couldn't find the words, all the endings to that sentence too painful to imagine.

"I want to so badly... I've come so close... I've always been alone. I thought maybe tonight..."

"YOUR NOT ALONE! I'm here for you. I'm always here for you." I grabbed his face and pulled him close. "I will always be here for you." I kissed his forehead and then pulled him into a hard hug, refusing to let go. "Please. Just let me be here for you."

"I... can't."

"WHY NOT!? I'm dying over there," I let go with one arm, throwing it behind me and gesturing to my room across the hall, "hearing you every night while I'm just totally useless."

"I've hurt you..."

Pulling back I looked him straight on. "You mean this?" I pointed to my eye, now simply a dark blue underlining. "I don't care about this! I'll take much more if it will help you... I just want to help." I pulled him into a hug again. Turning my face, I kissed his cheek, the corner of my lips accidentally touching his, the pain in my eye evident but ignored.

"Please..." I whimpered.

"You should leave," came into my ear.

**I love to hear what you have to say, whether messages or reviews. Let me know your thoughts on my stories. **


	6. Pause

**IM PISSED. I accidentally left 1 EXTREMELY important line out of the last chapter. Just… go look. It's the last line. **

**You looked? Good. Now this will make more sense**

**Also- Thank you for all the support. I love you guys. And for that, and other reasons, I am joining 2 of my 'chapters' to make this one. So it's longer….ish**

_I should leave...? But why?! We were just starting to get somewhere! He was finally opening up! _I stood up in a rage. Standing up himself, he tried to calm me down, but I wasn't having any of it.

"No! I can't do that. I won't! You're finally letting me in. If you push me away... I won't let you!" I started to well up again as I pulled away from him and beat a fist against his chest. He did nothing to stop my assault, instead taking it, almost as if he deserved it.

Finally I rested my head against his collar bone, weakly hitting his shoulder. "Just tell me why," I choked out.

"I just..." he attempted, failing. He pulled me off his chest, holding my shoulders tightly.

_Onii-...chan?_

He looked at me sternly, he arms shaking, then to the ground beside me, then back up. He stared deep into my eyes, seeming to fight something internally. "Sugu..." he tried again, some courage filling his voice, leaving me to suspect his intention being for him to tell me to leave.

His eyes… collapsed. It's the only way to put it. He stopped his struggle and accepted... whatever it was.

Already close, he began to tentatively inch his face closer, as if scared but earnestly trying.

_Onii-chan!_ I thought surprised. _He doesn't...He couldn't... _But I was wrong I found out as his lips connected to mine, softly and only momentarily. Barely two seconds went by; I hadn't even been able to close my eyes. Then he dropped his arms, drooped his head and stared at the floor between us. "Please... Sugu... you should-"

I cut off his sentence, grabbing his face tightly and bringing it back to mine. This time it was his turn to stare shocked. Not that I saw it, since my eyes were closed this time, but I could feel it with how tense he was.

Taking a few seconds, I felt his body finally loosen, placing his hands on my hips as he held me steady and kissed me. I, on the other hand, had draped my arms over his shoulders letting my hands hang loosely behind him.

Breaking, we both took deep, ragged breaths, holding our foreheads connected.

"I love you... Onii-chan."

He looked at me oddly, mouth scrunching up a bit. "I… I know it's ironic to say this, Sugu, but will you please… stay with me tonight?" He asked, motioning one hand to the bed, his facial expression probably due to the fact that he Just asked me to leave.

_I...I... Uh... I…_ I kind of stood there, lost for words, in awe of what he was asking so suddenly.

"Wait! I didn't mean... I mean... Just like we have recently! I wasn't asking for... that." His voice trailed off until he chuckled lightly, "I'm glad I caught that early. Who knows what could happen with an open-ended question like that?"

_Oh!_ Now clarified, I nodded contently, happy with him accepting my wish to comfort him, no longer shutting me out, both metaphorically and literally.

I looked down at the ground shyly. "If you want to... continue a bit though... I wouldn't mind."

Mimicking my stance, he looked downwards and linked the tips of his fingers with mine. "I don't want to do anything you don't want… _explicitly_," he added with emphasis.

I simply stood there... W_hat... what do I want?_

He gave me some time, then resigned to taking my lack of response as a no as he began to pull his fingers off of mine.

Squeezing them, I wouldn't let him let go, only capable of nodding my head ever so slightly. Still, he caught it and nodded himself.

Still looking down awkwardly, we inched our bodies towards each other, the first thing touching besides our hands being my overly developed... assets. Stopping at that, we both kind of looked at each other's' lips without knowing how to start. Eventually our eyes met as we leaned in and brushed lips. The second that happened though, things became simpler. The rest of the world melted away and left only two things that had any importance at all, him, and me.

Our kiss deepened as I bit his lip, his hands seeming to search my back. I found myself falling backwards onto the bed, only to turn the tables and flip him to the bed. Becoming almost frantic now, scarily so, I tugged at his shirt, almost forcing the black long sleeve off his body.

Leaning down, I kissed down his neck, letting myself linger as my hands traced down his chest and down his arms, to link our fingers again.

"Wait!" he suddenly breathed out. But it was too late. My fingertips found his worries, the jagged indentations and protrusions that ran from his elbow all the way to the bottom of his palm.

Too scared to look down, too fearful to kiss him, I slowly tugged at his arms, pulling them up to my face.

Silently, my eyes filled as I slipped out a muted, "Onii-chan..."

**Okay. So… things happened! Tell me what you think!**


	7. Attached

Shocked, I backed away from him, sitting on my knees. Kazuto sat up, trying to turn his wrist so I wouldn't look at the damage he had done, but I refused to let him hide it.

"Sugu... I'm... I'm sorry." he looked away in apparent shame.

"Why..." the only syllable I could muster as I cradled his palm with both hands, and holding his whole arm to my face protectively, accidentally poking my bruised eye but ignoring it.

"Because..." he started, seeming at a loss for a viable reason, or at least the words for one. "Because it won't stop... I can't take it anymore. I did so many bad things and I ended up being so alone..." he stopped and looked at my eyes, realizing what he had said. "Sugu I don't mean..."

It was too late at this point, the words were already out. _I know he doesn't mean it... but still. It hurts._

I drooped my head down as I let go of his scarred hand, peeking over to see the other one in a similar state of rawness. "I see..."

"I didn't mean it like that!" He started to get frantic, not yelling at me, but his words becoming almost painful.

"I know you didn't..." I stated. H_e knows I'm here for him. He knows I am..._ Slowly. I took my arms and wrapped them around his neck and buried my face into it. "I'm not leaving you Onii-chan. I'll always be here." I could feel the heat from his body as it pressed against mine which had yet to cease its stimulation. A lone tear found its way down my cheek before connecting between our flesh and holding there. Slowly, I pushed him backwards and we laid there for a while. _I can't leave him... I have to be there for him... Who knows how much more his fragile soul can withstand before it shatters..._

"Onii-...chan?" I asked tentatively, scared of what may happen next. He didn't answer but I continued anyway. "Have you tried to...?" I lost my words, my hot breath reflecting off his body and tickling my lips.

"Almost," he answered, seeming to comprehend my unasked question. I cringed at this, clutching his neck tighter and bringing one leg up to fold around him, not letting him leave me. _Never... I can't ever let him leave me..._

"Sugu?" he queried. I simply hummed into his neck my sign of listening. "Can I ... Um..." He seemed a bit awkward at this. "Should I put my clothes back on?"

I sighed deeply, taking in his familiar but long absent scent. The heat from his skin radiated and felt nice, as if we were closer than we had been all the nights before. _I like it this way... I feel... connected to him_ "If you like..." I allowed, not wishing to push him, loosening my arms slightly.

He made no effort to move, then deciding, pulled the blanket from under my butt and over on top of us. "Never mind." he finished, a slight tone of relaxation and contentedness in his voice... Something I had not heard in years.

Pulling him into almost a chokehold, I pulled myself up and lay cheek to cheek with him. He, on the other hand, allowed his arms to encircle me, one hand going up the back of my shirt and stroking my spine ever so softly.

"Heyyyy..." I started, almost warningly knowing his one hand was in my clothes and the other rested close to my rear.

"I'm not I'm not. I just... your skin is..." he stammered, for once worried about something simple, something not PTSD or death related.

"Hehe" I giggled lightly. "Okay. But remember. Onii-chan no ecchi." I kissed the side of his lip teasingly and I could feel it tug into a smile against my face.

Clutching him close to me and not letting go, this was the first night that there were no in-sleep sweating, violent dreams, or painful thrashing about. I wouldn't let him.

**How's that for an ending?**

**Just kidding. Not done**

**Message or review: D**


	8. Good Moments

More time passed, us becoming closer as Kazuto seems to break his spell of depression.

"Nee… Sugu. Why do you even bother going to your room anymore?" Kazuto asked as I close his door behind us, preparing for bed.

_Eh? _I put my finger to my cheek and thought. "Well, I go in there to use my Amusphere. Oh, and for clothes. I can't just walk around naked."

Next to me Kazuto began to cough violently. I eyed him as he turned his gaze from me. "Uh, hai...!" he agreed.

_! I see_

"Eh... so that's how it is Onii-chan? Picturing your younger sister in lewd, or better yet, no clothing? You're such a nasty perverted old man, you know that?" I asked, pulling the edge of my shirt down like a skirt, teasing him.

Seeming stunned at my words, he simply stood there, losing his voice. "No. I...um…"

"Ehehehe" I giggled, throwing my arms around him and kissing his cheek.

"He...he," he laughed awkwardly. "Wait. You use an Amusphere?" things seemed to click for him. "You play VRMMO's?"

"Oh... Ehehe, I was going to surprise you about that..." _Crap... That was supposed to be a secret for his birthday. _"Um... surprise!" I threw my arms up in the air as enthusiastic as I could, laughing uncommitted.

He seemed to consider this new information as I continued to hold onto him.

"Um... so... would you want to… play sometime?" I queried. "I know how much you hate games..." he looked like I had slapped him.

"Hate games? Are you kidding? Idk what I'd do without them..." He seemed then to fall into a bout of shame, "probably have a better relationship with you I guess..."

Smacking his cheek, just hard enough to get his attention, I began to scold him. "Nee! Bad Onii-chan! We've never been closer and if I wasn't here for you… bad things would have happened. Just focus on us for now and we'll put a pin in the gaming thing." I finished, bringing my lips to his, both of us collapsing on the bed, me on top.

Slowly, I pulled at his wrist and slid the fabric back, looking at his marks. Happy to see, they were fading, no new ones to show, only bright pink skin popping up with marks for reminders. Leaning down, I kissed up his wrist, hitting every section to his elbow, and then went to his face.

"Thank you for this ... It means the world to me that you stopped."

He scrunched his face kind of, I guess not mentally prepared to face what he had done just yet. T_hat's okay. _ I smiled softly at him in his embarrassment.

"And, as a reward," I kissed his mouth hard, deepening it with my tongue. "Onii-chan, only a little ecchi" I whispered, bringing his fingers to my shirt buttons.

**Yay for happiness.**

**Can it last though?**


	9. Connection

"I know how you must feel about this Kazuto" I said staring at the floor. Together we sat on the bed, side by side, not able to face one another. "We don't have to" I trailed off.

"I just never really imagined this day coming... you know." He peeked over at me, caught my eye, and then looked away. "But it'll be with you, and I just…" He took a deep breath. "I worry that you'll see me in a different light, like I won't ever be the same to you."

I smiled softly at his stupid words. "Yes Onii-chan. Things will be different. But it's an experience I've wanted to share with you... for so long... You'll look even better in my eyes. It'll be like I'll finally be fully part of you." S_omething I had been longing for for a while._

"I see... Well I'm sorry to have made you wait."

I giggled, again at how foolish his words were.

"You... you won't see me different will you?"

Finally he looked at me full on, cracking his confident smile I had grown to adore with all my heart, "Of course I will. But this is something I could have never imagined. This will show me the real you, the true, skin deep Sugu."

My eyes showed the faintest sight of tears at his words.

"Onii-chan..." I brought my lips to his. "I love you so much."

"I... love you too" he breathed into my cheek.

I gasped as my eyes widened. T_hat was... that was the first time he said it...without thinking I meant as a brother._

"Be gentle with me... okay?" He pleaded.

"Of course. But aren't I the one who's supposed to say that to you?"

"Meh... this is... well. I'm still pretty weak, so..."

I nodded. O_f course he would be weak. Getting one's strength up does take a while._

We both sat there, next to each other and staring into each other's eyes, neither of us moving.

Slowly I inched my fingers over to his and intertwined them.

"You know... Onii-chan..."

"Yes Sugu?"

"When you get your stats up I'm going to kick your butt." I smirked.

"We'll see about that, lowly fairy."

Keeping our hands linked, we both lay back on the bed together and said the magical words to bring us closer together. "Link Start!"

**I remember seriously enjoying writing this chapter. Cracked me up. **


	10. Angels and Devils

"Onii-chan?" I queried, knocking on his door.

"Hai Sugu?" he responded, through it.

"Um..." I peeked a head in, trying to not disturb him. "How're you feeling?"

He chuckled lightly, remembering our spar earlier when I beat him, knocked him down, and then kissed his bruises better. "Much better, thanks to my Sugu." he replied, saying my name with more affection than I was used to, knotting my insides. _Baka…_

"Um... well that's good to hear." I paused my approach. "Are you sure nothing else hurts?" I asked, kind of hopeful. _Say yes. Say yes. Say yes_. My excitement at my idea was the only think holding down my shame.

"Not... really?" he confessed, confused. Eyeing me, he finished, "Should something...?"

"Uwah? No no no. That's okay. I was just... you know, if you were hurting I was going to see if I could help you..." I spoke that sentence much too hastily, coming out in an embarrassed breath.

"Help me?" he stayed confused. I silently cursed his naivety, forcing me to say it.

"Um… I don't know. Like, a massage… or something similar." My face reddened as I craned my neck away from him, trying to study the wall behind my back, anything to not see his face.

His eyes peaked with interest at those words. "Well, I mean, I'm not hurt per se..." he started, more confidence in his voice. "But I am sore." He finished, seeming to want to entertain whatever fantasy I had in mind. _He knows me too well..._

"Okay, then, um... Lie down..." My words stumbled over one another, trying to force my thoughts out. "Oh! Uh... Take off your shirt first."

Caught off guard by that, he gave me a curious look, as if checking how sure I was, and then complied. "Face up or down?"

"Down... first."

After raising an eyebrow, he lost view of my eyes and he lay down, giving me the fortune of not having to hide my flaming face.

Climbing on top of him, I sat my butt on his and began to rub down his back, trying to knuckle out knots and massage his muscles.

After a quick moment of his tightening to my touch, probably from my cold hands, he relaxed into it fully, letting out a sigh here, an appreciative moan there.

Giving his muscles a break, I teased his skin with the tips of my nails, slowly gliding over them. I gladly smiled as he responded with a ripple, his whole body shuddering.

"I could just lie here forever... Maybe even sleep." his relaxed voice slurred out the words of tranquility.

"Yes, you probably could. But now it's time for you to flip over." I said, lifting myself enough to allow him room to flip. I strongly ignored the fact that I was now sitting on his... _!_ My face burned at this a bit, though he didn't notice.

"You're right... The view is better from here." he smiled whole heartedly.

Trying to not look at his adorable face, I focused on my ministrations, grinding out his shoulders and working on his tight areas, down to his abdominals. He twitched a bit as I reached the bottom. I simply had to laugh, _and obviously tease him more_. I smiled wickedly, my pronged tail wrapping around his leg behind me as horns threatened to force my hair up. "Oh... someone's ticklish aren't they?" The Saint side of me was completely hidden at this point.

This time it was his turn to redden as he stammered out a denial, one I definitely wouldn't believe. I demonstrated that by digging my nails into his sides and scraping lightly on his skin. I was rewarded with him bucking and begging me to stop. Caught up in it, I lost my balance and fell forward, landing with my lips on his neck. "Onii-chan... You could have just asked..." I whispered teasingly.

Sticking out my tongue, I drew lines up and down his body, eliciting many quickened breaths and gasps at the feeling. I took a few minutes focusing on his nipples, which he seemed to both enjoy greatly, and not be able to respond to with actual words.

Eventually, I leaned up and went face to face, licking my lips and kissing his hard. He wrapped his arms around me and I giggled joyously… that is until he flipped me over onto my stomach, looming over my body. _Wahhhhh?_

"What're you doing!?" I asked, suddenly confused and worried, no longer in control and feeling, in fact, very vulnerable.

"Well, I just thought," he breathed mischievously into my ear, "that it was your turn."

_!_ "Onii-chan! NO ECCHI!" I tried to flail and shake him off, until his face came around and stopped my actions with a soft kiss.

"I'll stop," he verbally offered me an olive branch, "if you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me to do this." The branch of course, was covered with thorns and catching fire, giving it an Infernal look. His face held a patient smirk, happily waiting as he stared into my eyes.

My gaze broke first, "Be... gentle."

He responded with a kiss on my forehead and a smile. "But of course."

"And if you try to take off my pants I swear..." I held up a finger to his nose, ready to scold him and beat him to death. _One of these days…_

"Wouldn't dream of it," he whispered, a halo appearing over his faux innocent face.

**Okay, so I really liked the edits I made to this. Idk. I enjoy when I can get a theme going through a chapter. I hope you could appreciate it too. Let me know what you think. :D**


	11. Desire

"Onii-chan!" I yelled, bursting through his door. I just had to...

"Sugu! Wait! Don't look!" he yelled distressed. _Too late..._

Spread across all three of his monitors were... videos... of women.

_UWAH!?_

"Sugu it's not!" he started, standing to try to block the screens, only to end up holding the hem of his shirt over his... _Too late... again..._

"I...I..." I sputtered, backing up and closing the door before sprinting to my room and collapsing on my bed, wide eyed and scarred forever.

_Onii-chan does those things... I didn't know he... Well I do those_... My mind raced as I clutched a pillow to my stomach. It took a few minutes, desperately trying to get those images out of my head, not to mention the sounds came from the speakers, as low as they might have been. Sadly, focusing on them like that only made it worse. _So he..._ Instead I focused on my racing heart, trying to slow it, as well as my breathing.

_Wait! If he's doing that... _My breathing stopped as my train of thought crashed into my emotional capacity._ Then that means..._ I suddenly felt very inadequate and useless. _I'm not enough for him..._

At this I tore up, the thought of him saying that to me… just starting to chip away at my heart, trying to break it.

"Sugu..." A knock came through the door. _Wonder who that could be_. I sighed. "Can we talk about this please?"

"NO! GO AWAY!" I yelled in anger, while my heart was begging him to come in.

"Sugu..." He tried the handle to my door and opened it. _Dammit, should've locked it..._

He scanned the room and found me curled on my bed, clutching my pilled with a dead stare that refused to look at him.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, sure to not touch me, he began to speak. "I'm sorry that you saw me like that. I was trying to keep that part away from you. I just... I want to do things right with you."

Finally, I had the strength to snap a glance at him. He had been staring off into space, maybe at my wall? "What do you mean?" I muffled into the cotton at my lips.

"Well..." he cleared his throat. "I love you Sugu. And I love so much that you feel enough to sleep with me every night and I can hold and kiss you..." his voice trailed off, leaving out the few times we've tried doing ecchi things. "But... usually it just leaves me... frustrated. So I try to get That out of the way before you come to bed, so I don't get tempted to do something... to you." He finished, his words sounding tired and defeated, crushed by their own meaning.

"I... see." I slipped out. Inside I was feeling better, but it still bothered me on a different level. "Onii-chan, do you… actually want to do those things?" I asked, staring at the bed sheet.

He seemed caught off guard by this. "What?! No! That's okay! I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Okay? We're going to stick to your pace."

I grunted at him. _That didn't answer the question..._

Leaning on my arms, I pushed myself up. Slowly, I considered the months we had spent together after his return, the last few being more than just siblings. "Onii-chan..."

"Hai...?" he asked, suddenly nervous.

"Did you... finish?" The only word I could come up with that wouldn't embarrass the hell out of the both of us.

"Uh... well... not really." He stumbled on his words, turning his whole head away from me, avoiding my gaze. "No."

"I see..." I paused... really considering what I was about to say. "Onii-chan?"

"Hai...?" he repeated. The situation felt backwards, him now being the one not really speaking while I tried to push him past his tense feeling.

"Please look at me." Slowly he complied, his body shifting towards me, then his head, then finally his onyx eyes. "Good."

Crawling over to him on all fours I put my hands on his shoulders and stared at his lips, head tilted down slightly.

He swallowed heavily, looking at my lips.

Slowly, I inched my head upwards and connected, feeling like a new kiss, different than all the others. That was probably because of what it told him; its message being, "I love you, and I want to show you how much."

For the first time since he woke up, we slept in my bed. It was a peaceful sleep, albeit long after an extended period of consciousness.

**OMG THEY FINALLY DID IT**


	12. Caught

_It's weird. I thought things might become more awkward after Onii-chan and I finally took that step in our relationship. But, somehow, it feels more natural. Sure we have our little moments. Like he's a guy so I like to tease him about how much he wants it. But then he turns around and teases me about how large my breasts are, which he sometimes proves by grabbing them and making dumb noises. "Larger than any others I know," he claims. Then I slap his face and we kiss and make love. Wash rinse repeat. Okay, that makes it sound like were fucking like bunnies. I mean... We're not. But I guess... _My inner monologue was cut off as Kazuto got on one elbow and hovered over me, while I was resting on my back. What broke my thought was his hand drawing circles over my bare stomach, him having taken the liberty to flip the few inches of my shirt up to do just so.

"You seem preoccupied tonight. Everything okay?"

I looked up at his beautiful face and smiled, though kind of forced. "Well, I mean, I'm just thinking. I don't know. I feel like something is off." I took a moment to think. "Is it because this is...bad?"

He pursed his lips in contemplation. His hand stopped, sadly, as I was rather enjoying his fingertips and the tickling sensation. "I... don't know. I mean, we're not actually related... Maybe because of our age?" he tried to figure out.

"Hm..." I breathed out.

We lied there lost in thought, his hand resting on my belly, mine having found at way over to his, resting against the cloth on his chest.

"Should... we stop?" he said after a while. "Maybe… just go back to being brother and sister?"

"No!" I said much too loudly, my body having tightened up as I could feel my heart stop beating at his suggestion. "I just...I can't Onii-chan." The thoughts were bringing tears to my eyes. "I can't go back; I'm too far gone. I just lomphmmm" My words were silenced as he pushed his mouth onto mine.

"I'm sorry. I... wasn't thinking," he let out sheepishly after we broke our kiss.

I smiled lightly and brought my hand around to his head and smacked it, "Onii-chan no baka," I whispered, before cupping his cheek and pulling him back down to me.

Kissing my love… was probably one of the best feelings I've ever had. We were both extremely inexperienced, having not done it with anyone before. For all I know, it looked awkward and gross, but we had grown and learned together and I had seriously loved every second of it, becoming part of someone so much that I could predict, copy, and compliment their expression of love.

"AHEM!" Came from next to us, and from the sound of it, it might have not been the first one.

Breaking our kiss, Kazuto and I looked over and saw our, my mother, hand on her hip and an expression even I couldn't read. I thought it was a mix of confusion, anger, and embarrassment. The last one... I looked down at us. Kazuto's hand has teleported about a half a foot, massaging my chest rather than my stomach. Mine, on the other hand, had been rubbing up and down his bare abs and back. _This... does not look good_.

"I think I deserve and explanation."

_I think I need to write my will._

**_Oh SHIT_**

**_What'll happen now?_**


	13. Love Revealed

Now, both sitting up in the bed, apart enough to not touch one another, just to make sure we don't anger her, she began pacing in front of us. Her head was resting on her fingertips, as if exhausted, while the other arm supported that one.

"You know," she began, "this explains why you two have been so close lately."

She was right, whether we meant to or not, Kazuto and I had been more publicly kind and 'cute' to one another, and I can't deny our increase of skin-ship.

"I just don't understand..." She stopped walking and looked him straight in the eyes. "How could you be so irresponsible?! I thought you grew up and became a man when you got out of that god forsaken game. But how could you do this...to your little sister?! I mean, you can't just string her along like that! It's just wrong to toy with her like that!"

_!_

"What were you going to do when you found a girlfriend!? Just leave her on the side? 'Thanks but I have someone real now?'" Her anger was rising, as was mine to all the things she was accusing my Onii-chan of.

"Okasan, it's not..."

"Wait Sugu! I'm not done!" She held out her hand to my face and took a breath. "Kazuto, you can't just use people like this! Especially family! How can you live with yourself seducing her just to break her young heart!?"

I saw, next to me, Kazuto rubbing his wrists nervously, almost twitching in pain with every word. _That's it!_

"OKASAN STOP! He's not like that! I was the one that okayed this!"

She finally stopped, wide eyed and seeming at a loss for words, so I continued. "This isn't something that Just happened. Onii-chan and I have been, d-d-dating for months now. He's never once abused me or treated me badly. If anything, I've been bad simply by the way I treated him when he needed it most!" _She might think that 'needed it' was referring to sex, but whatever!_ "I can't let you sit there any yell at him when I decided it was time to show him I love him this way... because I do." _And now I start crying... great... _"I love him so much... He's the best brother, boyfriend, and man you could want for me. I promise... and I know he loves me too."

Eyes squinting as she studied me, my Oksanan finally turned to him. "Is this true?"

Staring at the floor, kind of afraid to do anything, I saw him give a slight nod.

"And do you love her? Truly and not as just a sister?" She seemed extremely pressing on this.

After a small wince, Kazuto nodded again, this time with a serene smile on his lips.

*Sigh* She pulled out his computer chair and sat on it, her exhaustion evident. 11:21 I read on the clock.

"Are you two being safe? Do you have the necessary protection? It doesn't matter how much of a man you are if you can't support someone because you simply aren't old enough." _She... accepted us? SHE ACCEPTED US! I think._

"Yes. We have been very careful. We only didn't have it... the first time. And even then we made sure to... not take chances."

Nodding at my statement though a hint of displeasure at those last words, she looked at him. "Do you have anything to say? Or is your little sister going to be the strong one your whole relationship."

Swallowing, Kazuto looked up, his arms resting on his knees. "I didn't plan to do this aunt Midori. Sugu... helped me through some extremely rough times. I wasn't planning on falling in love with her... But I wouldn't… be alive, if she didn't save me."

Okasan took this moment to finally notice his wrists, red from furious rubbing. Carefully, she extended an arm and took one, examining the damage. The cuts had long healed, but the scars were for life. "I should have known... I knew it was bad, I could hear it, but I never imagined...Such a bad parent." She mumbled the end to herself. I didn't have the heart to correct her, the situation tense enough.

Finally, she let him go and looked at me. "And the black eye?" She queried.

"Total accident. He was having... a really bad night. In his sleep!" I finished, sure to not give her any false ideas.

She studied me for a second then nodded and sat there, thinking.

Likewise, Kazuto and I sat silently.

"I want you to both make a promise to me. One- if EITHER of you EVER needs someone to talk to, about ANYTHING, I want you to come to me, understand?"

"Hai" we said in surpried unison.

"Two- I will pay for your... safety. But that means you have to limit yourselves. Understand?"

"Hai," we said again, exchanging a glance at that last one.

"Good... If I think of anything else, I'll make sure to let you know. Now... I'll give you two some privacy. Don't be up late! You two still have school in the morning."

Then, she got up, walked out the door, and closed it.

Both, just sitting there… we breathed a unison sigh of relief.

"OH!" the door burst open again, "and hang a sock on the handle next time, okay?" Then she was gone.

"..."

**I remember how fun this chapter was to write XD**


	14. Spoilerer of Happiness

**More story? Well there's only one way to keep the story going**

"Onii-chan," I said, sleepily walking into his room_. He went to sleep? That's...odd. Usually he waits for me and we kiss each other to sleep. Once in a while we go farther, but he's never just been asleep..._

"Onii-chan?" I questioned again. _His collar is open… and he didn't even bother getting under the blanket. Baka _I thought smiling. He was a dummy, but he was my dummy.

"Onii-chan you meanie. Why'd you..." My voice trailed off, my fingertips touching his clothes, which I found to be absolutely drenched. Droplets of sweat made a collage on his skin; his hair was matted flat, and his breathing sporadic.

"Onii-chan!" I yelled, touching his lava-like forehead. I began to shake his shoulders, completely in panic mode. "Onii-chan, Onii-chan, Onii-chan!" I shouted at his unconscious body, to no avail.

"OKASAN!" I ran out of the room yelling. _Surely she knows what to do. She must know what's wrong with Kazuto._

She came with me, pulled by my frantic fingers and shoved into his room. "He's... he's... he won't move. And he's..." I couldn't speak anymore, starting to lose it, sobs breaking out as I sunk to the floor, my back against the wall, watching as my mother began to turn her concern into utmost anxiety. I stared through blurry eyes as she called the hospital and tried to get a response from Kazuto.

...

Two days went by

...

I lied there in the bed, now empty of my beloved Onii-chan, crying into a pillow that, thankfully, still emitted his smell. It was my only comfort, having locked myself in here, denying food, water, or even to talk to my family... or at least my mother. My father was overseas…as usual. _And Kazu-_ I broke down again, finally crying myself into a stupor and then a fitful sleep.


	15. Alone

"Hey... Onii-chan." I whispered, not expecting a response. "I miss you..." I said, my voice cracking and threatening to break the calm and collected demeanor I forced myself to hold for the last hour. "I don't know how this could have happened... One minute you were fine and the next." I took several unnatural intakes of breath before having to sit down.

"This brings me back... you know?" I continued, more a solemn resolve in my words, keeping me sane. "You were in that game, lying in the bed while I sat in the chair. Do you remember?" I paused and reach my fingers out. "Do you remember my holding your hand like this? Writing your name in your hand with my fingers..." I smiled lightly at the memory. "Do you remember when I would read to you, or tell you about my day?" "Probably not... You were busy fighting monsters and getting exp."

"Heh. You probably don't remember this... But once or twice I climbed in your bed and lied with you." I closed the door and mimicked my words as I spoke. "I felt like maybe I could be closer to you, maybe my brain would be pulled into the game if I held it to you like this." I curled my body around him, pulling him close, careful to not disturb the wires protruding from his arm and chest. "Your helmet was always in the way though...I could never feel your soft hair, or see your eyes... or press my skin to yours..."

I held my forehead to his temple, kissing his cheek below it.

"But I don't worry... I can't. I know my Onii-chan is strong. I know he will conquer this and come out stronger than ever... like after the game."

"Heh. I remember sleeping with you... Just staying all night. Pretending to be completely unconscious when the nurse came so she'd let me stay..." I giggled lightly. "Your little sister has some tricks up her sleeve...doesn't she?"

~...~

"I love you, Onii-chan." I whispered, feeling my breath bounce back before I buried my face into the crook of his naked neck, carefully falling asleep holding him for what I knew could be the last time.


	16. Calm Before the Storm

**Now that I think about the direction the story goes after this, I can't blame you if you're just like, "well…. Fuck that"**

Kazuto was awake! _I knew he would wake up!_ I thought as I held him close to me. I kissed him as hard as his weak body could take before pulling him out of the hospital bed and into my bedroom. He wrapped his arms around me as we connected, looking me deep in the eyes. A sense of bliss ran through my body with a light shudder. _I want to stay with Onii-chan forever…_ I lied there thinking, before reaching over to grab him and never let- But he wasn't there...? The room was dark and the bed was cold, no warmth from another to comfort me. "Kazuto? Kazuto?!" I started to panic. _Where did he go?! Why am I all alone...?_

Suddenly his skin was pressed against my face as I awoke. Looking up, it was the same scene with him in bed, still mostly motionless. Looking out the window, I noticed the complete darkness that passed over the world besides the small lights from the houses.

I calmed my beating heart as I brought my face back up to his temple, kissing his cheek.

"...gu" came a breath

_!_

"Onii-chan?" I whispered. Finally looking over him, I noticed he Wasn't the same as normal. His body was tense, he was sweating, his eyes tight and frustrated.

"...no" Came from his fighting face.

"Onii-chan," I spoke louder, trying to wake him. I carefully shoved his shoulder, recognizing his nightmares and middle of the night pain.

"gu no..."

"Onii-chan! Wake up." I began to shake him.

In an instant his body calmed down, his face serene.

That's when all hell broke loose.

His entire body tensed and thrashed, pushing me off the bed. I could hear the heart monitor beeping wildly as I picked myself up. He began to convulse unnaturally, giving his body a distorted look.

I held my hands to cover my mouth while I cried, staring at my love as the nurses forced me out of the room and shut the door in my face.


	17. Disclosure

**I'm not a doctor. I'm doing my best here and apologies if you know much more about this than I do and see that I have made a fool of myself**

Once again I was in the room with Kazuto, holding his sleeping body. My mother had been worried about me not leaving the hospital. My father even voiced his concerns over the phone, but I couldn't leave. I just... couldn't. _If something happened when I left.._

There's nothing I can do anyway, they tell me. As if that is supposed to make me feel better about how useless I am.

"Kirigaya-san?" I heard from behind me. I looked over my shoulder and quickly got off the bed, thoroughly embarrassed at the position the nurse found me in. Nurse Aki, if I remember correctly from how she took care of Kazuto during the SAO incident.

"Y-Yes?" I piped up.

"I was wondering if we could talk to you... privately."

"Ok...ay?" I responded, confused at what was going on. I stole a lingering glance at my now calm Onii-chan, and then left with the woman. She walked me to what I remembered to be her doctor's office.

Sitting down in front of the doctor with the nurse standing dutifully at his side, I became extremely uncomfortable at the situation.

"Kirigaya-san. Thank you for joining us. We wanted to speak to you of Kazuto's condition."

"Did you figure out what is wrong with him!?" I asked eagerly, not even trying to hide my emotions.

"Ah, hai. That's what we need to talk to you about. You see, we have taken various tests and it all points to one thing. The fact of the matter is that, well, there's nothing actually wrong with him. Well, I guess that wouldn't be correct. What your brother has is a simple case of hypoglycemia, which we are treating and he should be fine within a day or two of more rest."

"That sounds like good news... so what's the problem?" I asked, noting their tone of dissatisfaction.

"Well, you see. This disease is most common in patients with diabetes who take incorrect amounts of insulin. Your brother, however, doesn't have diabetes. He simply became this way because of what we believe to be the problem. You see, Kirigaya-san, I believe you know about his... condition." He drew out the word, leading me to suspect him meaning Kazuto's emotional state. _The cutting, suicidal tendencies…_ "You see, we have seen his skin, and it can only be inferred that he has suffered immensely from his time in SAO. This seems to have had negative effects on him, emotionally. From that, we believe his depressive state has lowered his immune system and his will to eat. Hence, the blood irregularities and the reason he is here."

I sat there, taking in all the doctor told me, following along as best I can.

"I...see... But what does this have to do with me?" I queried. _Surely this was their job?_

"Well, you see, from observation and your mother, we have learned of your... unusual relationship with your cousin." I noted he slipped in cousin this time, instead of brother.

"Yes..." I waited, beginning to feel defensive to the people who were Supposed to be helping him.

Looking at the scowl I was wearing, the doctor held up a hand, "It's not our place to judge. We, simply, want you to be there for him."

_Eh? But that's all I have been doing! Doesn't he realize-_

"Your brother is going through a rough time, as you know, and we are... insisting, that he get psychiatric care. We want you to be there with him as a support, if not in the sessions with the doctor, then at least afterwards in his home life. Do you think you could do that for him?" He asked, his voice seeming sincere enough for me to lower my defense.

I took a moment to think about it. I knew my answer, but I really just had to understand what I was getting myself into... _No matter_

"Yes. I can"

**Sorry if that was anticlimactic. Also, Warning, I'm reaching the end of my prepared chapters. So updates will be slower. Apologies but you knew it was coming**


	18. Problems Arising

**Hm. I'm not as satisfied with this chapter as I remember…Maybe it's because of a future one…**

**Oh well. I'll still post it for ya**

I held his arm as I walked him to bed, finally home from the hospital. Turning, I grabbed the tray of food and sat on the bed, almost on his lap as he sat up against his pillow. "Onii-chan, you have to eat."

"I'm just not in the mood Sugu..." His head hung downwards as he spoke.

"Onii-chan. I'll force you if you don't."

"I just..." he stumbled, looking aside.

Forcing up my best 'cute imouto' face, I looked up from underneath him and pleaded, "Onegai... for me?"

Crumbling at my attack, I saw the boy concede and attempt to take the food from my hands.

Pulling them away and behind me, I retorted. "Nope. You didn't say yes the first time. So no I'm going to treat you like a baby."

Paling at this, he sunk slightly into his blanket, attempting to pull it over his head.

Leaning forward, I whispered in his ear, "and if you be good, your desert will be eating like a true baby." I winked, slightly squeezing my arms together, and with that, my chest.

His whole body seemed to tense, trying to fight himself or something. Seeing him open his mouth in protest, I shoved the first spoonful of food into his gullet.

Surprised, he swallowed it and nodded resolutely.

"Sugah" he started in between bites.

"Yes my dear Onii-chan?"

"I fink *gulp* that we shouldn't do that anywar *gulp*"

I left the utensil in his mouth as I stared at him, suddenly feeling a mile away, viewing this scene and not being an actual part of it.

"...W-What makes you say that.." I queried, dropping the bowl of food to my lap, my eyes focused on the liquid moving about. _This... isn't…_

"Because... well. I really think..." he fought for words, obviously stuck on his train of thought, trying to force it out. "I… I think it would be best if we were just brother and sister."

_Happening... _it cracked: my soul, heart, mind, consciousness, everything. Just, threatening to explode into pieces.

"..W… Why... Oni..." the only things working on me apparently were my mouth and my tear ducts, as they both activated simultaneously, cutting each other off.

"Because look at me..." he gestured with his arms out. "I'm... I'm fucked up Sugu. I have too many problems. I only cause trouble. I just left the hospital for god sakes because I couldn't get myself to eat!"

His voice was rising greatly, but not screaming at me. More like he was pissed off at himself. My hands were shaking...

"I'm not a good person to be with Sugu! I... it would have been better if I just died in that game!"

And now it shattered. The sound of glass breaking rang through my ears.

_Weird, it affected Kazuto too..._

He stared at me in shock.


	19. Lovers Uniting

I glanced briefly as the soup dripped down the wall, pieces of ceramic stuck to it, the rest having landed on the floor next to his computer.

"Stop that!" I yelled at him. "Just STOP!"

He was taken aback at this, his mouth open but no words coming out.

I forced him on his back and hovered over him, eyes straight and piercing into his. "You really think anyone's lives would have been better if you died? More people in that game would have died and it would have lasted longer. Our entire family would have had to cope without you, knowing it was a stupid video game that killed you!" I threw one arm out and pointed in the general direction of my parent room as I screamed this. Then bringing it to my own chest, "I wouldn't have been able to realize these feelings for you." I continued, more quietly now. "Do you really think I would have preferred a dead brother to the boy I LOVE and who makes me happier than I have ever been? DO YOU!?" I breathed deeply as I stared into his stricken eyes.

He was stunned, unable to speak. I searched his soul's windows, mine wide with anger and frustration, silent and unnoticed tears dripping from my face to his.

"...I'm... sorry." he said, turning his gaze away. "See...? This is what I'm tmphhh!" I shoved my mouth onto his, forcing him to shut his stupid face. I held the kiss there, just trying to push my body into his, wanting to mold into one being. _Please... just understand..._

Eventually I felt his lips respond, rewarding me with his acceptance of the kiss.

We continued for a long time, him in response to my actions while I was doing it kind of angrily. Gradually we slowed and I grabbed his neck and almost choked him as I pulled him in a tight hug. "Baka..." I whispered.

He sighed in resignation. "I'm sorry... Sugu. I love you... What can I do to make it up to you? Anything, I promise." his voice sounded more lively and stronger, his earlier doubt and self-hatred disappearing.

I took that moment to notice it pressing between my legs.

"Well," I started, a slight breath entering my voice. "I guess for now," I lingered, trying to draw it out, "dessert."

**Because a kiss is the best silence :D**

**Only 2 planned chapters left**


	20. Finger Licking Good

"uguuuuu" Came a ghostly voice into my head… I think.

The image of Onii-chan, the confident one that wielded the much too large sword in ALO, began to fade from my view as my world was stabbed upon repeatedly. The whole place seemed to shift with large poundings, like something big was creating tremors with its steps. Onii-chan's fairy face finally disappeared along with the rest of the world. My consciousness began to surface as I felt an annoying jabbing at my cheek. _Who dares... my time...Onii-chan_. I accused the unknown traitor as I began to come to, immediately annoyed. That was until I opened my eyes, the fairy face being replaced with the actual face of Onii-chan, smiling down at me.

"Onii-can..." I got out, trying to wake up.

"Hey sleepy head." he smiled. "Come to bed?"

I slowly sat up, realizing I was in my room, which was unusual. Holding a hand to my eyes, I remembered I had fallen asleep playing ALO. Removing the headset, I used him as leverage to climb out of bed, not wanting to wake up fully.

Twisting his mouth to one side in thought, he stood up and turned his back to me. "Here, like we were kids."

Still barely conscious, I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him grip my thighs as he lifted me up. _Mmm... warm..._ I sleepily enjoyed. "You know... Onii-chan... poking my face... 'ot nice." I scolded, sounding like a 3 year-old.

"Aw. Sugu... Fine. I'll find more… stimulating ways to wake you up next time."

Embarrassed, I took one of my hands on his neck and promptly slapped him in the face. Well, let's say I TRIED to slap him. It came more of a mushing of his cheek and lips with my exhausted phalanges. And it ended with him munching on one of my fingers lightly.

_Mmm._ It felt oddly good, and I left it in his mouth as he laid me down in his bed.

"So how was the counselor?.." I drawled out.

"Thit thas thood thugu."

"Mmm" I mumbled at him, accepting his garbled words for an answer.

"You know, you're chest is too big for piggybacks. If it wasn't only ten feet, it could be a problem." He said, removing my finger for a moment.

_Ergg._ Silly annoyance swept through me as I shoved my hand back into his face, not really realizing the logic of this.

"Hehe" he chuckled, before obliging and suckling my pointer finger.

"..Nii-chan. I was... something to tell you..."

"Thes?"

"Something to tell you... tell you... I forgot..." My reason for staying up playing ALO eluded me.

"Thin the thorning then"

"Mmm"

We were silent as his hand traced my body, drawing light circles over me. I shivered lightly as his hands crossed my back, butt, thigh, side, stomach, breasts, and face. He wasn't trying to be sexual or anything, it was just another part of my body he could tickle lightly.

"Nii-cha...?"

"Mmm?" he answered, his body becoming as tired as mine.

"..'ove you"

With the last of his conscious strength, I felt him pull my body to him and hold his lips to mine, then entangle our bodies in an embrace, falling asleep as one unit.

**You know what's a fun author trick? Acting this shit out. I sat here writing this chapter with a thumb in my mouth. Weird eh?**


	21. Big News

_Uuuuwwwaaa. _I stirred slightly, an intruding source of light beating down on my eyelids.

Lifting my head, I found I was nestled in Kazuto's neck, our bodies melded together as we slept. Somehow, also, he had gone back to sucking on my finger in his sleep. Not wanting to disturb him, I looked down at his calm face, relishing in how absolutely adorable he looked. I pressed my lips to his cheek and left them there, taking in his scent, trying to wake up in a good way. _I could start every day like this_.

I looked down at these thoughts, my back tickling slightly. I found, not sure if surprised or not, his hand draped over me and a few fingers poking under the seams of my pants.

_Baka..._

I lay back down, enjoying his unconscious touch as I considered trying to go back to sleep.

_He carried me here... what a good brother... What a good... boyfriend_. I thought, cheeks warming as a shy smile crossed my face, directed at no one.

_I had stayed up...stayed up... ALO... Why did... I..._

A small munching on my knuckle made me giggle until my mind connected everything.

_AINCRAD!_

Now fully alert and awake, I sprung up, ripping at Kazuto's cheek with my finger, like a fish on a hook.

"Wa... Ahh!?" he yelled, gaining consciousness quickly and forcibly, something nobody enjoys.

"Kazuto wake up! Wake up!"

"Eh... Wa..? I'm awake. I'm awake." his body lurched to a sitting position before slumping over lightly, contradicting his claim.

"KAZUTO!" I bopped his head with my pruned hand.

*CLOCK*

"Owwww" he groaned, rubbing his hair, now actually awake, whether he wanted to be or not.

"Aincrad! It's Aincrad!"

The words connected for him as his hands froze, staring down at the sheets. "What... did you say?"

"Aincrad..." I started confidently. "It's coming to ALO."

"..."

**DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMMM**

**yea**


	22. To Go or Not To Go?

"Are you sure?" he asked tentatively.

"YEA! They announced it. It was all over ALO yesterday. I wanted to stay up to tell you... but..." I trailed off, alluding to the fact that I fell asleep and he carried me to bed.

"I... see..." He offered little emotion behind his words besides apprehension.

"...What is it?" I asked, worried about his feelings towards this news. ALO was his coming back into the virtual world he had loved. It was also a way for use to spend time together in something we both enjoyed. So if this affected him in a negative way, I don't know how that would end for us… and our time together.

"I don't know... I don't know if I would want it to come back. It was such a..." his words searched frantically for something fitting his memories of the castle in the sky," lonely time of my life. Such pain... such… days without… interaction"

"I... see..." I mimicked.

He continued with a guttural 'hm...'

"So... you don't have any good memories there?"

"Well, I mean, amidst the tortures, I had good times with certain people. I thought we would get close to one another, but, it didn't happen. I don't know, I think they simply didn't want to continue in my company."

I kept quiet for minute, taking in the idea of people being opposed to even being friendly with Kazuto. "We don't have to go there if you don't want... But I can't say I don't want to see where you spent 2 years of your life..."

"I see..."


	23. Aincrad Laughing

"Well... if it means that much to you... Let's go check it out now. We have the day free, right?"

"Hai! We do!" I smiled, excited.

**6 hours later**

Kazuto and I sat in his bed, side by side, staring at the wall, our gear on the bed sheets behind us.

"So..." I started, unsure of where to take that sentence.

"I... did not expect that."

_Didn't expect that? THAT'S IT?!_ I felt a little miffed at his low level proclamation.

"I thought you said you spent those two years alone."

"I DID! I swear!"

"Really? Because if that's how you spent your two years... I felt bad about how lonely you claimed your situation to be, you know that? I worried over you and cried constantly. And then THIS?! SERIOUSLY?!" I was yelling now, screaming at the side of his face as he refused to face me.

"I... didn't..."

"What else have you been lying about?!"

"..." he sat there, his silence growing with each labored breath that came out of my lips.

"Just... I thought I was the only one for you. But..." My voice broke.

"I know... You know, every one of those girls stopped talking to me at one point or another. One after she got her friend back, another after she finished her masterpiece; and the last one...I thought we were going to be together to be honest, but then I killed someone... to protect her. Then I couldn't show my face to her again."

"But... I mean... When we saw them today..." I blushed deeply. "I thought they just wanted to come talk at our house, maybe explain a few things. But..." I trailed off.

"I didn't expect them to just start stripping either." _Don't say it you idiot!_ I stared wide eyed at my hands between my legs, face burning red.

"It seemed... after that... all bets were off."

"…Yea... I hope... you don't think of me any differently..."

"It's not that. I mean, I know that once all three of them were on you, there was little you could do..."

"I could have reported them to the game and then... I'm sorry..."

"It's okay. I just... I didn't know what to think either... Even the loli with the pigtails..."

"You spent twenty minutes with your face between her legs, but you can't remember Silica's name?"

I visibly cringed in extreme shame. "I... we... You were taking too damn long with the pink one!" I yelled.

He smiled as his eyes danced, laughing at my expense. "Yea... I know. I just... I couldn't Not finish her. That would have been rude."

"...Still."

"You know... Looking over at you two... that was kind of hot."

That was about the time I mercilessly beat him. "BAKA! BAKA BAKA BAKA!" I yelled, hitting his head and chest with my fists.

He simply laughed as he embraced my assault.

"You're such a perverted sis-con!"

His eyebrows rose at that as he grabbed one of my fists mid-air. "Well I guess that's why we're kin." He quipped. He then pulled me atop him and kissed my lips with his smirking ones.

Breaking apart, I scowled at him. "Don't call us related as you grope me. It's creepy."

His smirk broke into a full out grin. I couldn't help but lift my lips at this. _I just love seeing him this happy._

That thought was broken as something pushed against my midsection.

*Ahem* He coughed. "So... virtual… really doesn't relieve...That. Does it?"

"No. not at all," I replied, honestly, feeling myself become hot.

"Well. Guess we'll just have to take care of that." He replied, the most ironically honest expression on his face.

We then proceeded to reenact the last 4 hours with much vigor.

**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

**Joke's on you.**

**Background-**

**I wrote this chapter on April Fool's Day for my good friend Saint. And now, it has finally caught up to this moment. So you get to enjoy my troll-ness and hilarity. :D**

**The real chapter of what happened will be the Next chapter. But for now, Lol**

**Also, send alllll the hatemail my way. Please :D**

**Just know that I still love you**


	24. Aincrad Fighting

**So out of all the chapters for this story, this one probably got away from me the most.**

Returning back to the real world, I looked over at the still diving boy next to me. _What... happened exactly?_

Having logged out faster than he did, I got close to him and ran my eyes over his calm face. _I don't understand..._

Finally disconnecting, I watched him remove his gear and look at me with a tight smile. After a moment the smile faded as he frowned at me, looking down at my legs lost in thought.

"So..." I took the first step to breaking the silence between us.

He didn't move or respond in the slightest.

"So..." I repeated, trying to get the words out without slipping my emotions in. "I thought... didn't you say... weren't you alone?"

He let out a tired breath as his eyes finally met mine. "I... was."

My eyebrows furrowed slightly in apprehension and slight annoyance. _Didn't seem like it..~_ "You know..." Now it was my turn to look away. "I was really hurt when you were in the hospital. The time spent crying was only rivaled by the time at home that I wanted to be there..." I quieted a moment. "But," I continued, voice slightly toxic, "if that's how you were spending your days..." _All those pretty girls..._ I silently relented over.

"Look. Do you think I would lie about something like that? Why would I bother? What reason would I have?" He began to become defensive.

Finally, I challenged him with my eyes and met his frustrated face with one of attack. "No reason? Maybe to make me feel bad for you? You probably knew I was unstable and didn't know how to think of you! You KNEW," I jabbed my finger at him in accusation, "that I was fair game because I wasn't your actual sister. Maybe that was your plan the whole time. Sure you had pretty girls all around you but how would I know!? Maybe you wanted all of us." My voice was reaching the end of its crescendo. "Maybe all you wanted was to convince me you loved me so you could FUCK me!" My rage was rising and my voice snapped by spitting the word 'fuck' at him.

"Why would I want that!?" His voice rose to meet mine. "You were just my sister! I barely knew you. I was trying to stay away from you. I never wanted to be with you! I just wanted to forget it all and get back to my life. But NO! You couldn't just let me suffer in peace in my room every night. You had to try to help me, to be the 'good little imouto,'" he raised his fingers in quotes at this. "Just to Tempt me! Maybe you should have just left me alone! May-maybe you should have just left me for DEAD!"

We both stood there panting. _When did we stand up in our yelling? Good thing mom isn't here._

In my head the word 'dead' continued to ring throughout. Little did I know, my own words, 'fuck me,' were echoing around the head of the teen in front of me. _Kazuto... dead._

Almost simultaneously, we fell into each other. Our arms clutched at each other's bodies, frantically trying to hold our dearest closer to us. Hitting our knees, we collapsed to the floor together, tears spilling out in unison, mine in a sobbing manner while he remained more reserved in his sadness.

Not a pretty sight, we pulled our bodies apart just enough to look at each other's eyes before I broke contact, dropping my head against his chest. "I'm so sorry Kazuto. I-I-I didn't... I..." My words became nonsense in my attempt to apologize for my accusations.

"No no no no. You... it was my fault... I should have never... I didn't mean." He seemed just as incapable to create meaningful sentences as I was.

Trying again, I looked back up to him, dropping my hands to my lap. "I don't know what I would...Kaz...Onii... I love you. You can't die on me... You can't. You can't. You can't..." I shook my head in protest at the last few words.

Pulling me back against him, he stroked my hair as more tears leaked onto my shoulder. "I won't die... I can't die. Not anymore. I have something too special to me now." He paused, sniffing hard against the uncontrollable snot that came with crying. "And if you want, we can stop. No more..." He coughed lightly, from the tears or the words I didn't know, "love-making. I won't be disappointed."

Backing again, I pulled my hand up to his cheek and brushed a tear away with my thumb. "Baka..." I whispered before bringing his lips back to mine, again grateful that mom wasn't here to disturb us.

**Yes. The real version was much more emotional. I wrote an emotional chapter instead of an orgy. Go figure. XD**


	25. Pasts Revealed

**Alice- While I agree it is wildly played out, I am attributing his change in character to the altered background I gave him, having to suffer much more with no one to turn to. I am also running off of self-experience and the emotions that go with such actions. But that's neither here nor there. I know this is a harsher universe, but that's where the plot comes from. His original character would not be this way, but this isn't the Kirito we all know and love.**

**Anyway, so many people were a bit confused as to what happened with the girls and what made him this way. I believe this and the following chapter will explain it.**

**Enjoy**

2 Hours Later

We were lying in bed on top of one another, our panting and heart rates having already returned to normal. I kissed up his chest lightly while I traced my nails down and around his stomach, my own nakedness being barely hidden by the blanket that covered me. Eventually I brought my hand up to his chest and lay my head on his pectoral, my breath on his skin causing him to shiver. Onii-chan's hand wound around my back and caressed my skin lightly, stroking my side.

"Hey, Onii-chan," I started softly.

"Mm?" He mumbled out. _Such a guy. Trying to fall asleep right after_.

"...What were we fighting about?"

He was silent for a moment, thinking. Then his silence continued and I figured him passed out.

"Onii-chan?" I tried again.

"The girls from SAO."

"...right."

Shifting position again, I laid on his arm, looking him in the eyes as he turned to face me. My hand found itself drawing up his side while his wandered to my chest and idly played with my nipple.

"So... let's get this straight. You had 3 girls in the,"

"Four" He corrected. "One... was an old friend. She became a business associate though.

Starting again after smacking his arm for interrupting, "So you had THREE girls in the game. All at different times you became friends with them and... then what?"

"I... we just stopped talking." He pursed his lips in contemplation as his fingers paused. _Aw._ It took a few moments before I realized he wasn't going to go on.

He resumed as I started talking again, "How about we try them one at a time, shall we?" I lightly shuddered but kept my mind on the task.

He nodded. "Well, first there ..." His face scrunched again. "Well not first, but... Anyway, I found this girl in the woods, the cute pig-tailed one with the cat ears and tail you met. Her AI friend had died and... She almost did too."

"But...?"

"I... helped her," he replied sheepishly.

"You saved her life!?" My voice perked up as my eyes widened. _Sugoi... _

"Uh... something like that. Anyway, so I helped her revive her friend the next day and we hung out a bit afterwards. But then, like, Silica, that's her name, became all nervous around me. I guess because I had lied to her about what level I was? When she found out I was going back to the front lines, she looked sad then simply said, 'Okay, Kirinii-chan, maybe in the next life.' Then she smiled weirdly..."

"And?"

"And that was it. I left. I didn't see her till today."

I perused over his words, thinking carefully. _Maybe...? He's... Eh._ "Okay. Let's go to the next one."

"Well, the pinkette, I needed a new sword and she was supposed to be the best smith in the game or something. That's what another player told me anyway. Anyway, she made me go with her to find the ingot we needed. So we went and got stuck in this dragon pit after... we got caught in the wind." His voice faltered here, making me think he was hiding something, but I let it go. "So we had to camp in the nest until we could find a way out in the morning. I think she got cold because she wanted to sleep closer than I thought and hold my hand." Shrugging at this idea, he went on. "In the morning, we got out and she was all happy until Asuna showed up; that's the other girl we met. At this point, Liz, the pink haired girl, got up and left. So, chasing after her, I found her crying. You know me... I was never good in social situations, not like that. So I told her that Asuna was the one who referred me to her shop and that I'd definitely be back. Plus I'd bring Asuna with me. I thought seeing her friend would cheer her up, but no... So... I hugged her, and left her alone."

I blinked quickly at the last sentence or two. _No... no... there's no way..._

"And for Asuna, we were hanging out and actually getting along. She used to kind of hate me, you know? But one day we became civil associates catching a murderer. Then she became my temporary chef. Then we actually kind of became friendly. I thought she could be the girl for me. She was my speed, she was beautiful, and most of all, she didn't mind my beater status." He perked up at this while I felt a twinge of jealousy jab at my insides. "But one day, in a trap by this red player... I had to kill someone, right in front of her. Something she couldn't do herself. That's how much I knew she despised it, the ruthless killing of another person, and how much she would despise me if I let her see me again. So I left her. She was in tears, probably from the sight of me ending someone's life. Seeing that, I knew she would never want to see me again, let alone be...with me." He sighed softly at this.

_There is a way... he's seriously... Oh my god..._

My eyes were wide, almost angrily so. When he finally noticed, his mind coming back to this world, he looked at me in question.

"Sugu...? What is it?"

Sitting up, ignoring my very nude state revealed to him, I climbed atop him, much like the position we were in 30 minutes ago, and began to beat him with my fists. "Onii-chan you DUMMY!"


	26. Interpreting Foolishness

**Warning. So, This chapter wasn't supposed to be this heated. I planned for her to explain and scold him. But as you all know, my fingers have a mind of their own. So… yea**

Holding his hands up in defense, though I still got a good hit in or two, Kazuto started to yell out, "Sugu! What's wrong?! Ow. What did I- Ow- Do?"

Having one of my arms caught he stared me down until I finally stopped struggling and lay back down next to him. _...Baka_

"What...What did I say? I didn't mean to make you jealous... Or something...?" His voice was weak in determination, obviously from his lack of knowing as to why I had reacted like that.

"Onii-chan...You're...an idiot."

His eyes widened, still lost in confusion but trying to take in the accusation. "Um...yes?" He attempted to agree, encouraging me to continue.

"Let's try this again; from the top. The first girl, Silica, you saved her life! You saved her friend! Then she found out that she couldn't keep up with you and that you were going far away! How would you feel if someone you loved was way out of your league to the point where it would KILL you?"

"I...um..." he faltered, scratching his head. "Sad?"

"Exactlyyy. So she felt that, and more, and she had to let you go. She didn't hate you or ignore you. She was TRYING to let you go, for your sake... baka." I whispered the last word.

"..." He remained silent, this time keeping his hands to himself, much to my disappointment and probably out of shame.

"Next, Liz. You helped her, kept her warm, and took care of her when you fell down a hole which I'm GUESSING was probably her fault by the way you said it. And I know you; you wouldn't blame her for something like that. And I'm sure being the hero and making sure she was safe and comfy snuggled together by a fire didn't help matters in turning her towards you. AND THEN in walks the super attractive girl with big breasts, YES I SAID IT," I made sure to shut up his exasperated look. Then I continued, "and she realizes that you know each other. She probably thought the same thing the first one did and tried to let you go, but THIS TIME you rubbed it in her face, saying you'd be back WITH the other girl. You broke her fucking heart. You know that!?" I was panting at this point, angry at him, but also in pain, knowing how the other girls felt. He, on the other hand, was astonished. I had never cursed like that in my life. And I just screamed it to his face.

"I... didn't know..."

"Of course you didn't. Baka." I took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"Last, but nowhere near least, the girl you got along with the most. She sounds freaking perfect," I started again, choosing to be a bit lighter with the language this time. Kazuto couldn't even look at me at this point. Instead he sat up and listened to me lying behind him. "She was at your level, she was beautiful, and she tolerated you in a game full of people that hated you. You said she even cooked for you! What kind of girl does that at random!? Answer- no one. No girl treats a guy like that when she doesn't like him. And then, big kicker, you save her LIFE! You did something she couldn't do; you bore the burden of Killing someone else. You traded her conscious for the struggle of having to carry that on your shoulders. She was in tears because she felt like she Made you do that. You probably think I'm crazy. How would I know? I know because I would feel horrible if I couldn't do that myself and I forced it upon you. It would be so Painful to know that you had to darken your soul FOREVER because of me. And what did you do? You LEFT! You left her to feel sorry and be forced to let go of her feelings of you. And in the end, she only blames herself because she MADE you do that in her mind. She thinks she drove you away and that you being forced to kill someone disgusted you at how weak she was. You just don't...get it... do you?"

He refused to answer me. He sat there, possibly ignoring my words, more likely simply taking them all in. I gave him a second. I found it to be a second too long as I relaxed my body enough to feel the tremble of the bed.

Rising rapidly, I sat next to him, seeing his head in his hands as silent tears out, the only sound being sporadic breathing and my own heartbeat. "Onii-... I'm... I'm sorry." I placed my hand on his shoulder in which caused his head to straighten up and his silent weeping came out into one large sob. Quickly, I pulled him into my arms, resting his head on my bosom and stroking his hair. He resisted slightly, but then finally gave in. _He thinks I'm mad at him. He thinks I won't love him anymore... I know he does...Onii-chan..._

Tightening my grip, I whispered into his ear hushed comforts. "Nii-chan. It's okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's okay. I didn't mean to be so mean. I'm sorry. Please Onii-chan. Please. It's okay."

This continued for a few minutes until his sniffling stopped and his body was still except for deep breaths. Pulling him on top of me, I continued to stroke his hair as he eventually fell asleep.

**So yea. That happened**

**OH YEA! So...that was the last prepared chapter. Things will be slowing down now. I apologize**


	27. Apologies

**I had fun writing this chapter. I hope you have fun reading it :D**

"So this is Kirito-san's room..."

"I think it's nice."

"You would think the stud would have a bigger bed"

The other two girls looked at the last one who spoke with incredulity, one with a darkened and obviously embarrassed face and the other scolding with her eyes.

"What'd I say...?"

*Ahem* I cleared my throat, stopping the squabble prematurely. "Anyway, I thank you girls for coming over, especially so late. I understand that this must be awkward and probably doesn't make any sense, but if you'll bear with me."

The two older girls nodded while the pig-tailed one still appeared squeamish and apprehensive. _I can't really blame her._

Outside the room I heard the faint *bum* of a door closing and a low, "Tadaima." _Speaking of the Devil._

"Okay, so this is good timing. He's back early today, so it looks like you won't have to wait long." Faint steps could be heard on the staircase as the three girls next to me stood and lined up facing the door.

"Hey, Sugu? Have you..." I wouldn't know the answer to his question as Kazuto walked opened the door and stopped dead, trying frantically to blink away the sight in front of him. His voice was stuck, simple creaking out sounds of struggle, "ah... eh... uh..."

Down the line of females different greetings were administered as I watched from beside my brother, sitting in his computer chair.

"Hello... Kirito-kun." Big, although uneasy, smile.

"How ya doing sexy?" Wide grin oozing confidence.

"...H-Hi! Kirito-san!" Unsure voice with eyes that didn't meet anything but the bed to her side.

I smiled amused at the site and issued my own salutation as I looked up at the shocked man beside me. "Welcome back Onii-chan." _Do I have a smile or a smirk? I can't tell. Oh well._

"I brought some gue-" Now it was my turn for my sentence to be cut off, as the boy in black immediately fell on his hands and knees in a pitiful begging position, head downcast and almost kissing the floor beneath him. I was left in awe.

"GOMENASAI!" He began, his voice booming and strong. "I cannot begin to make up for how I have led you all on and then responded to you when all you did was care for me. I have been firmly informed of my grievances and the fact that I, Kirito the Black Swordsman and Beater of the front lines, am truly an idiot. I..." his voice broke suddenly and I could easily recognize his composure as the one he adorned when shedding tears. My open mouth of amazement shut as I felt sorry for him. "I cannot believe how badly I have hurt all of you and will do anything in my power to set things right. Onegai... T-tell me what I can do..." He stopped talking suddenly and remained silent, awaiting a response.


	28. Anything?

**Alice- Yes, I agree. That one phrase in particular was rough so I went and fixed it. However, I try to keep a decent amount of Japanese in the story simply because of the different feel and overall meaning that can come from a word that cannot be expressed in English. I'll try to make it less cringe-worthy though**

_Woah. Okay. I didn't expect that..._

I watched as Kazuto stayed in his position, face glued to the floor begging for... _Mercy? Forgiveness? Acceptance? Probably a mix._

The girls had shocked expressions adorning their faces as well as they stared at the boy. After a moment of stillness, one girl stepped forward, walking towards him and getting on her knees as well, placing a hand on the crown of his head. Warily, he peeked his head up, meeting a soft and caring smile. More confident, he began to sit up but was pulled into a hug by the chestnut-haired girl, her arms holding him close and not letting go.

The silent 'aw' moment was followed by a whispered, "We forgive you, baka." I couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of me. Without hesitation, the brunette came forward as well, joining the hug and ruffling his hair a bit. Last, after a pause of consideration and doubt, the pig-tailed girl delicately trotted over and, still unsure, wrapped her arms around the boy as well.

Calming himself, I watched my brother smile blissfully and hold all three of them close. "Thanks guys... I'll make it up to you somehow."

About to speak up, I was taken off guard as Rika popped her head up a bit and raised an eyebrow suggestively. _Oh no… _"So you'll do anything? Realllllllyyyyyyy?"

At that, Keiko retracted her arms and stood thoroughly embarrassed while Asuna stared aghast and horrified at what the blunt girl was trying to say out in the open.

_What...now? I mean... I can't blame... them. They love him like I do..._ I found myself staring at my fingers which were fidgetingly intertwining and lacing around themselves. _They... love him. Wouldn't be fair. Not fair, not fair, not fair. _"I-I-I'll leave you guys alone." Suddenly I ended up rushing past the group in a haste, needing to get away. _I have to leave now or I'll change my mind... Love him._

Closing the door behind me, I was granted the glance of the outspoken girl forcing her lips onto the surprised teen. _!_ Racing heart, I closed my door and lay on my bed, wanting to disappear but not willing to do anything to stop my mind. I could put on music, read, play ALO, or anything. But I didn't. I sat there, reeling and losing my mind.


	29. Kisses

**So this chapter was actually super hard to get out. I kept fighting over how I wanted it to go and when I wrote it I didn't feel like it was just right. I still don't feel that even after rereading and editing. Idk…**

_So basically... I just gave them permission to do... whatever they want with him._ I frowned as I hugged my pillow. I knew from personal experience that if there's true love between people that it's wrong to get in the way of it. I knew that I would be torn up if anyone told me that my love couldn't be realized because of whatever reason. I also knew that these girls had these feelings long before me and that I would feel terrible if I were the one to stop them from getting their chance. I knew all that.

_But then why did it hurt so much...?_

*Poom Poom* A resounding knock on my door startled me as I lay there. Getting up, I only then realized my sore eyes and snotty nose. I tried to conserve a more dignified look, but it was ultimately in vain so I just let it go. _Their opinions aren't going to change anyway._

I opened my door and peek through it, being given a view of two of the girls bent low towards me. Opening it all the way, it stopped short after hitting something with a hard *thoom* and bringing out a low, "ow..."

More carefully this time, I slipped out the door to see the third girl, the most upfront of the three, rubbing the top of her head, apparently having been leaning forward as well.

"That's what you get Rika-chan for jumping on him like that." The chestnut haired one scolded.

_Um..._ I stood at them in that position, unable to see their faces and thoroughly befuddled.

"We're sorry for what we did to you, Suguha-chan." The tallest one spoke again, this time to me. "We were unaware of your relationship with Kirito-kun. We hope our actions did not hurt you too much."

I couldn't help but wonder what had transpired between my leaving his room and now for her to say, 'our actions.'

"It's okay," I put on a mostly genuine smile, hints of my weeping still leaking through. "I know how you all feel about him; I didn't want to reject your hope of that. It wouldn't be right..." I took this time to realize that the one our conversation dealt with was nowhere to be seen, which meant he was probably still in his room. _Maybe the shock broke him..._ I mused to myself, picturing him sitting there with a blank face and drool dripping down his chin.

Now rising from their bowed positions, the one on my right still rubbing her head in pain, they looked at me fervently, the shortest one being absolutely adorable with that look.

Without speaking, they continued to look at me and, after a moment too long, I finally responded with a, "what is it?"

This time it was the pig-tailed girl who spoke up. "Aren't you going to go to Kirito-san?" She asked.

I was kind of taken off guard, although I should have seen it coming, the implications of her words making my face hot. "Oh, no no. That would be rude of me, especially with guests around. I'll...go to him later."

Seeming disappointed, the short girl looked down and frowned.

"Come on girl, show us your magic!" Came from my right, followed by a, "Ow ow ow ow," as her taller compatriot smiled sweetly while pulling the girls hair nonchalantly. _How can a 'happy expression' look so... ominous?_

"Please excuse our outspoken friend. She has yet to learn that her words have consequences."

"Um... it's okay. I just... I don't want to step on anyone's toes. Please, you have my...blessing." _These words are so hard to get out._ "You should take advantage of it while you can." I kept my hard smile on my face.

"But we..." The reprimanding girl stopped short at the sound of the door opening behind her.

"Sugu... This isn't going anywhere." Kazuto stepped out into the now cramped hallway, squeezing through the girls to get to me. Taking my hands, he looked deep into my eyes. "I love you, and you're the one who made me realize how much I've hurt those around me with my actions." He spoke stronger than usual as he referenced the girls now standing behind him. "I will always regret that but I can't turn around and hurt you to make it up to them. I'll never be able to look myself in the mirror again if I were to cause you any more pain..."

Standing there, I found myself being moved to tears, wishing to not cry in front of these people. To strengthen my resolve, I rubbed his wrist affectionately, the symbol of his torture now something we shared together, and I leaned forward and kissed him, barely touching his lips.

"Uwah..." I heard from all around me.

"So bold..." The smallest voice whispered out.

Now slightly sheepish, though glad I had done it, I looked around at the other girls, their jaws slightly lower than before. Closing her eyes while she coughed, the one who seemed to be the party leader of this small brigade looked at me and smiled. "We are not here to judge. We are just glad to have cleared things up with Kirito-kun. Now, we should probably get going." She finished by eyeing the other two girls.

Fixing to leave, they turned to walk down the hallway to leave us alone, which only made me stop them faster, "Wait." All turning to me, I avoided their gazes, preferring my fidgeting hands. "You are our guests. I can't be so rude as to... not allow you the same chance." My words burned, but I knew they were what I felt in my heart, only slightly worried they might steal him away from me.

"Are you... sure?" Their stares beat down on me, needing affirmation of my offer before they did something considered belligerent towards me.

My answer, however, was in the form of me getting behind Kazuto's back and shoving him forward, this distraction allowing me chance to take a breath and calm my nerves. _What did I just offer them...?_

'Them,' however, had already started without me.

"Kirito-kun," the first one up started. "I always regretted making you do that horrible thing for me. I...wasn't strong enough." She laughed tensely. "I was a front liner and I wasn't strong enough. But you were..." Her voice quieted. "I've always wanted to thank you, to repay you, to show you how much it..." She shook her head in denial. "How much You meant to me."

The teen she was speaking to swallowed nervously, trying to look behind himself at me, but was met with a pair of lips on his. Slowly he understood that I was truly okay with this and allowed himself to be moved by the kiss, caressing her and deepening it, apparently forgetting where he was.

I couldn't help but laugh as I saw her pull away as his lips were left hanging in the air, reaching for a kiss that was already over.

The next one to step up was the one who had her chance to kiss him earlier, although that one was a surprise. "Hey...stud." Her voice lacked all the confidence and abruptness from earlier, leaving her appearing shaky. "I just wanted to say... thank you. You love your sister, but you're giving us a chance at what we thought was lost." She smiled at him, a hint of her strength appearing before she pushed her lips on his like the girl before. As before, he accepted the kiss and pressed into it, wrapping his arms around her. I took this moment to check out the other two girls, the long haired one smiling contently with her eyes closed and hands over her chest while the pig-tailed one stared up at the two in their engagement earnestly.

Again, the kiss appeared to end before Kazuto was finished, the goofy look on his face lightening my mood even more.

Finally, he turned towards the smallest of the group and when she realized it was her turn, her face burned red and she held out her arms. "No no no. It's okay. I can't... I can't do that in front... I can't... kiss you." She tried to fend him off with her words, her embarrassment as evident as her desire to do what her words said she couldn't. He responded by taking her petite hands in his and rubbing her knuckles. It took her a minute, but eventually, she was able to look up at his face, realizing that she wanted this more than she was flustered by it. "I...I..." She tried to come up with something similar to the other girls, but could only slip out a squeaky, "Kirito-san..." before he met her lips. Compared to the other girls, this kiss was more entertaining to watch, somehow actually distracting me from the fact that they were kissing My boyfriend. The tiny girl froze up when their faces touched, then slowly melded into it. Surprisingly, though, she began to assault him with more vigor, only being stopped after someone else cleared their throat towards her.

Sheepish, she let him go immediately and lowered her head, covering her face with her hair. "Gomen..."

Placing a hand on her shoulder, the second kisser laughed heartily before making the girl even more uncomfortable by saying, "at least wait until we're in the bedroom."

_EHHHH!?_


	30. Waking Up

_Mmmm_ I rolled over in my bed, slowly being greeted by the world. I didn't, however, feel like opening my eyes, preferring to relish the sleepy feeling as long as possible. I stretched lightly, burying myself into my pillow and blankets, casually pulling the back of it over my body. This neither bothered nor surprised me; Onii-chan and I would end up falling asleep afterwards on some nights and we woke up like this. _Mmm onii-chan..._ I reached a hand around the bed searching for my love. I immediately hit a bare shoulder and smiled satisfied. _Maybe one kiss... to say good morning..._

I stretched my hand across his bare chest, pulling my body across the bed towards him. My half-asleep head barely lifted, let alone my eyes opening. I simply crawled partially on top of him, my head reaching his face while not crushing his flat chest with my large one. Leaning down, I went cheek to cheek, his soft skin being a warm place of solitude, one I would have gladly stayed if my lips were not currently holding a kiss yet to be given. Reeling back ever so slightly, I brushed my lips with his, earning me a half awake sigh. Pleased by the response, I reached my hand down and found his nipple, tweaking it softly, bringing out a sudden intake of breath. Even happier now, I smiled as I slipped my tongue between his lips, being met with his, even if it was still lazily. I felt his arms wrap around my neck as I continued to rub and flick his nipple, waiting for him to fully wake up and respond. I leaned down lower and ran my tongue across his neck, nipping lightly, having learned a few of his weak points. The response was a strong grip on my neck by his small hands.

"Ah. Wa-wait. Kirito-san."

_...That's a girl's voice..._

Apprehensively, I raised my head and decided that it would be in my best interest to open my eyes. I was met with a round and slightly pleasured pair of BROWN eyes, which only better matched the GIRL'S brown hair which had been let down.

"AHH!" We yelled simultaneously and separated. Out of extreme embarrassment, I pulled the blanket over my head and hid, which, of course, only made it worse when I looked over and saw that she did the same thing, coming face to face under the covers. This solved nothing. Finally I turned around and moved to get out of the bed, only to be met with the face of the actual Kazuto, who was staring wide eyed and open mouthed. Admitting defeat, I slowly raised the blanket back over my eyes and tried to pretend that I didn't exist.

This fantasy, however, would be broken by the ever so classy, "Please do it again," whispered by the bewildered boy.

His reward however was in the form of my foot kicking out from the cover and hitting him in the side.

"Ahem. Um," he started, trying to pass away what he just said and witnessed. "We uh... We made breakfast. I just came up here to wake you two. But... um... yeaaa."

Peeking over the fabric, I forced the hardest look of killing intent on him that I could muster, which then caused him to quickly exit the room muttering something about privacy.

Sneaking an eye over to my other side once again, the other girl stared back at me in quite a similar position, hiding everything but the top few inches of her face.

"I'm sorry that I... um... kissed... you." I stumbled out, not really sure how to make this apology any less agonizing.

"I... It's... Um..." She murmured into the cotton, not able to make a formal sentence, looking away.

"I didn't know..." I tried to explain, my own carelessness catching up to me. She nodded in understanding, obviously having done the same thing and hadn't known either. "You and Kazuto just had the same size..." I stopped talking, watching the girls eyes go dead and disappear underneath the covers once again. _Oops..._ "I'll just go..." I offered, quickly exiting the warm bed and meeting the cold air in the nude.

This discomfort and the rushing to dress and get downstairs, however, did not come close to the girls pitiful, "you'll never know my pain..."

**I DID IT! I've been staring at this story for days on end, and before that I've kept it in my mind for months. But FINALLY I did it. And I enjoyed it. I hope you did too or if it was too cheesy for real comedy. Idk.**

**Anyway. The last line is a reference to Sword Art Online: Lost Song where Silica runs away from Strea clutching her chest and yelling, "You don't know my PAINNNNN" ah… good times. Anyway. This story is nearing a close. I have not considered more story for it because I feel like it'll be forced. So only a few chaps more. Maybe even just one. Idk**


	31. Together?

"I think we should get a cat," I started, lifting the collar of my shirt over my head. Over the past month or so Kazuto and I had been joking around about living together after we finished high school. I had the sneaking suspicion he was simply humoring my childish imagination though. "What do you think?" I slipped off my pants as I asked, then I turned my around towards the slightly defined back of Kazuto, who was getting ready for bed as well. He allowed me my privacy by changing back to back, even if he thought it was, 'redundant.' _A woman needs her space sometimes._

"A cat?" He threw over his shoulder.

"Yea, I think it would be nice. They're fluffy and playful but still pretty independent. Plus it's comforting to sleep with a cat." I stepped over to him and rested my head on his shoulder, pressing my barely clad body against his naked back. _I'm sure he'll notice that._

"But Sugu, I'm content enough to just sleep with you." He smiled, turning around to face me, resting his forehead against mine.

"Ah. Onii-chan is trying to set the mood tonight is he?" I teased, darting my tongue out to poke his upper lip as my hands stroked down his chest.

His grin widened slightly, wickedly. "Plus we don't need a cat. We could just keep Silica-chan around. With her ears and tail she'll be good enough to cuddle up with." He chuckled. "Besides, then you'll have a playmate."

I frowned slightly at what he was suggesting. "I think I'm a little old for a playmate, don't you think?"

His teeth shone against his desk light as his lips spread further. "I meant your Special playmate. Plus you Already have experience sleeping with her."

I bopped him on the head and turned my body from him. "And you ruined it." _As quick as it came, it was gone._

"That's okay. I don't mind this view either." He growled, a deeper husk in his voice. I couldn't help but go red at that.

"Turn around," I replied, sarcastic annoyance dripping out of my mouth. "Hentai." I accused.

"Yes love." He chuckled one more time before I heard him shift back towards the wall.

I slipped my pajamas on and left us in silence a few more moments. The vibe felt a bit different. "You're quite the bold one tonight." I tried to let out strongly, but it came out as a cracked whisper.

"Mm…. I guess so." He offered unhelpfully, flopping down on the bed with his hands supporting his head.

I sat next to him and eyed him with unsatisfied eyes. "You're just thinking with this tonight, aren't you?" I queried, reaching down and grabbing the length hidden in his pants. _Yupp. Hard already. Baka._

His body lurched forward reflexively, a lungful of breath shooting out in an exasperated *Huuugh*

I decided to not tease the boy anymore, but I couldn't help but press for answers. "But what do you think?" I lay down next to him and put my back to him, feeling him press himself against me as his arm found its way around my waist, pulling me close.

"What, you don't like my Silica-chan idea? I think it's great. We could call her up right…" His voice stopped.

_Big mistake._ We had joked about moving in together, making future plans about just everything… Everything except the other three girls now entwined in our web. Since Kazuto's apology and their confessions a few months ago, they had been over one other time. Otherwise we had only seen them in ALO. We always avoided what was going to happen with them. It was foolish to consider the idea that we could continue like this forever, me sharing my Onii-chan with three other girls. Not in modern society. We'd be outcast for sure.

We stayed silent for a while, me curled against his body comfortingly but feeling trapped nonetheless. He had lifted the hem of my shirt and was softly stroking my belly, his breath on my shoulder fluttering the fabric.

His hand stopped and I assumed he fell asleep until he spoke out, "What are we going to do Sugu...? I… I can't hurt them… Not again."

I frowned and balled up, holding my knees to my chest, suddenly feeling very cold.

"B-but I can't let you do it either. That wouldn't be right…" He sounded unsure of himself; _He's probably as lost as I am…_

"We… could cut off communication with them." I offered, knowing my plan was horrible as I practically watched it come out of my mouth and splat on the floor, making a mess of things. _No…_

"That's what happened the first time. It would be wrong… Should we try to tell them in person? Be straightforward about it? Maybe have them come over to talk face to face..?"

His offer also rolled off the bed and burst into chunks of heartbreak and despair as it hit the floor.

"What's left…" I whispered.

"Tell them nothing… pretend it's fine until it's not. Let our future selves take care of it." The ground was littered with proverbial shortcomings and horrid character.

"No…" I breathed out, knowing we would never let it get that far.

It was silence after that. A blaring, deafening silence.

I focused on the buzzing of the lamp on the desk, the light keeping us awake. Something neither of us bothered to prevent. Kazuto eventually wriggled his hand out of my ball of a body, having apparently gotten caught between my thigh and my breast, not that it made me feel the way I usually do when he touches me there.

"It could work."

"What?" I questioned, not having paid attention for quite a while now.

"The five of us. It could work. I know it could!" His tone rose with intensity and strength, seeming to gather the courage to do it right then and there if it were possible.

I turned my head to face him, a small frown adorning my face. "Kazuto, love,,, no. It couldn't… What would people think? What would our parents think?" I left it open ended, figuring it would be the end of his impossible idea.

"They would still love us. Otherwise what kind of parents would they be? And other people? Who cares what they think. If we're all happy then that's what matters, right?"

My dissatisfaction didn't disappear. "Onii-chan, it's not even legal. It's barely legal for you and I to be together. But we can't all be married… It just won't work."

But his fire wouldn't die, no matter how much I pissed all over it. "It WILL work! It has too!. There's no other way. There would be too much pain… too much broken friendships… I can't let them go. Not again. Not after…everything."

I stayed silent now, considering his words.

"It could work. It has too….." his last words were a whisper. A prayer. A hope.

"They don't even know all that happened with you… How will you tell them?"

Almost forcefully, but gentle enough to not hurt me, he pulled my chin back to meet his face. "Together. If I'm with you… I can do it. I can do anything… I know I can."

Finally, my lip curled, ever so slightly. "Baka…"


End file.
